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I walk into our kitchen clutching a handful of wet paper towels, a few minutes after we finally sat down for dinner. My daughter is sitting at the dining table, happily taking a sip of her refilled water cup after it was knocked over. My husband is at the table with her, eating, asking her about her day. I throw away the paper towels and head back to the table.
“Mommy!” my daughter shouts. “Can I have some more noodles, please?”
“Sure, love.” I take her plate to get her some more pasta.
“Do you want me to get it?” my husband asks.
“No, no, it’s fine, I’m already up.” I get her another scoop of noodles from the stove and walk to place it back in front of her.
“Thanks, mommy!” my daughter says with a smile.
“You’re welcome, sweet babe.” I notice I need to go to the bathroom. I’d like to enjoy my dinner without feeling like I have to pee. I pop in for a quick go, wash my hands, and come back out to the kitchen. My daughter just dropped her fork. I quickly grab another one and head back to the table.
I sit down to eat my now coldish food and ask my husband how his day was.
“Good, there was a…” he replies, just as our daughter begins to cry.
“Mommy, not this one! The pink one!”
She wanted another pink fork, not the blue one I gave her. “You wanted the pink one, love? Are you feeling a little disappointed that I gave you the blue one?”
“Yes,” she says in between sniffles.
We are eating dinner late tonight. I should have started dinner earlier. I knew it would take longer than I thought. My daughter is so tired. I ask if she can use the blue fork, the pink ones are dirty.
“Nooo!” my daughter wails and throws the blue fork to the ground. She slumps down in her chair and starts to cry harder.
She’s done. It’s not about the color of the fork. She’s just way, way too tired. My husband has finished eating, so he scoops her up, brings their plates to the kitchen sink, and one-handedly rinses them off.
I take another bite of my cold food.
Still crying, my daughter asks daddy if she can go put her Frozen nightgown on (her favorite). My husband glances at me and gives me an apologetic look.
Parenthood… it’s teamwork.
They both head upstairs and her heartbreaking little cries fade down the hallway.
I finish my dinner alone now. How was your day? I sigh and think to myself, feeling horrible that dinner was ready way too late and that my daughter is feeling so tired and upset. She hung on for a long time this evening, she waited ever so patiently for daddy to come home and for us to eat dinner. I appreciate her so much.
I get up, walk back into the kitchen, and clean up from dinner. I hear my daughter giggling upstairs now and the pitter-patter of her feet running around. Aw, she’s having fun with daddy. One more moment of fun squeezed in before bed. I’m happy to hear she’s feeling better.
Another day coming to an end.
Motherhood…
To the momma that feels exhausted, but just keeps going anyway…
I see you.
To the momma that feels like she’s gotten nothing done, but actually hasn’t stopped moving all day…
I see you.
To the momma that eats a cold meal after tending to everyone else…
I see you.
To the momma that feels lonely and longs for some conversation…
I see you.
To the momma that longs to hear “I appreciate you” or “thank you…”
I see you.
To the momma that misses out on moments with her family because she’s tending to something else…
I see you.
To the momma that is constantly giving herself to everyone else, forgetting to put herself first…
I see you.
To the momma that loves being with her children, but also misses her freedom…
I see you.
To the momma that wishes she could be more patient, less frustrated, and less angry, and just feels guilty that she can’t always be better…
I see you.
To the momma that feels like motherhood is different than she expected…
I see you.
To the momma that feels overwhelmed, stressed, or sad…
I see you.
To the momma that needs a break…
I see you.
To the momma that knows she will look back at these years and miss them terribly, but also can’t wait for the hard days to be over…
I see you.
To the momma that would do absolutely anything for her children, and feels her heart may burst with love because of them…
I see you.
Motherhood is wonderful, joyous, entertaining, silly, inquisitive, loving, and fun… Motherhood is a blessing.
But motherhood is also stressful, disappointing, frightening, confusing, thankless, and exhausting… Motherhood is hard.
Mommas… we all know. Motherhood comes with so many emotions, so many feelings… Motherhood is heavy.
Hey. I see you, momma.
Lots of love, always, from this momma who knows.
Anna
