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Before I had my first baby, I was told two things… 1. Parenting is the best, most rewarding job in the world, and 2. Parenting is the hardest job in the world. After becoming a parent, I can say that those statements are both extremely true. I think every parent would agree, right??
(Scroll to the bottom if you simply want links to the recommended books. Read through the post if you want a little more detail about each of the books.)
While pregnant, and during my time as a mom, I’ve spent a lot of my precious free time reading. Parents don’t get a lot of free time, so I choose my books carefully. I’ve compiled a list of my favorite books, books that I would recommend to family, friends, and other parents in a heartbeat. I will organize the books by topic, but all the recommendations listed below include aspects of respectful and gentle parenting, child development, listening to and being present with children, and working on yourself [personally and as a parent] to raise your littles with understanding, compassion, respect, grace, and love.
This is a post I’ll continue to update over time as I find more favorites! Enjoy! Hopefully, you’ll find these just as helpful as I did!
Our favorite books for those wanting to learn more about living a life of simplicity, less technology, and more fresh air…
I’m currently reading Until the Streetlights Come On: How a Return to Play Brightens Our Present and Prepares Kids for an Uncertain Future by Ginny Yurich, MEd, and I can’t tell you how inspiring I feel while reading this one. (I’m almost done and I’m kind of upset! I want to keep reading!) Sometimes I read more for the information and purely to learn. Ginny- the founder of the 1000 Hours Outside movement- writes in a way that draws you in, brings you joy with relatable humor, and makes you feel like you want to be her friend. Every morning I brew my cup of coffee and look forward to reading Until the Streetlights Come On. Her book is all about being mindful to choose a simpler and slower life for you and your family. Between society’s pressures to do more, enroll in more, and be more, the best thing we can do as parents (and just as people in general) is to step back, slow down, and enjoy the simpler things in life: harvesting the joys and health benefits of nature, being present with our loved ones, and making memories and lasting traditions along the way. This is a book I would recommend to anyone, not just parents. It will be a favorite of mine that I know I will come back to time and time again!
Ginny’s 1000 Hours Outside podcast is also one of my absolute favorite podcasts. The episodes are filled with a variety of amazing guest speakers who bring a range of perspectives and information to each episode. You can listen anywhere you already listen to podcasts.
Our favorite books for those wanting to learn more about Montessori parenting…
As a family, we’ve tried our best to naturally implement Montessori teaching, practices, and spaces in our home. I heard the term “Montessori” here and there during school and while I was pregnant, but it wasn’t until after my daughter was born that I dove more deeply into learning about it. (If you’d like to read more about what the term “Montessori” means, I share more about it here.) My favorite book, recommended by so many, is The Montessori Toddler: A Parents Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being by Simone Davies. It’s easy to read and understand. The book provides a wonderful perspective of toddlers and their development, and I used the book as a source of direction in setting up Montessori spaces in our home. I still refer back to it as often as I need!
Great news, too! Recently, Simone Davies released The Montessori Baby: A Parents Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding, which I couldn’t be more thrilled about! I implemented more Montessori practices into our home as my daughter got older, but she was well over one year old when I really felt confident and knowledgeable about it all. This book is a wonderful and insightful read in regards to Montessori for babies. Great read, and highly recommend!
The Montessori Toddler and The Montessori Baby by Simone Davies are both also available in an audiobook version, which I’ll link below. I love audiobooks because, again, we all know free time is limited and precious as a parent. I am a big fan of audiobooks and podcasts. Folding laundry? Driving the kiddos to school? Showering? Audiobook! Podcast! (Multitasking at its finest, right?)
Our favorite books for those wanting to learn more about respectful parenting…
Those who know me, or those who have read my posts, know that I am a big Janet Lansbury fan. If you are a family that practices respectful parenting or wants to know more about respectful parenting, know that Janet Lansbury is a pretty common household name for good reason. I can’t recommend her work enough! Between her website, her books, and her weekly podcasts, Janet Lansbury has changed the lives of so many families across the world. She learned and studied under her mentor Magda Gerber, who founded RIE parenting and rightfully gives credit to Magda often in her work. Magda Gerber was an early childhood educator, and the goal of RIE parenting is to help teach families how to interact with children respectfully from birth. I first became a fan of Janet when I was introduced to her podcast, Unruffled. I think I have listened to each episode at least three times, and refer back to them often. You can listen for free on iHeartradio, along with wherever you listen to podcasts.
Anyway, back to the books! Janet Lansbury has two fan-favorite books… Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting and No Bad Kids: Child Discipline Without Shame.
Both are easy and pretty short reads, yet both are so incredibly helpful in understanding child development and creating a respectful and loving mindset for child behavior. Definitely must-haves on your bookshelf or bedside table at home! Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting is a more general read, with each chapter a great insight into understanding littles and their development, and it offers a wonderful perspective of how to care for kids with respect and kindness. No Bad Kids: Child Discipline Without Shame provides an excellent and respectful approach to several real-life situations from parents that we, as parents, have experienced with our own kiddos or will experience. I can’t tell you how much more understanding, sympathetic, less stressful, and just more lovely our home is after discovering Janet’s work and being able to grow my knowledge and framework of RIE parenting and respectful parenting. I continue to refer back to it time and time again, almost every day, with our sensitive, yet strong-willed daughter.
Our favorite books for those wanting to learn more about child/brain development…
The process of learning more about child development, and more specifically brain development, is a topic I “geek out” about. I have a degree in psychology and focused on child development while in school, so any reads about child development, child psychology, the brain, and children growing and learning are just so much fun to read! However, all fun aside, I can’t tell you how important it is to grow your knowledge and understanding of child development when you are a parent. You don’t have to be an expert by any means, but knowing the “why” to the “what” cultivates a stronger, healthier, and happier relationship between you and your child.
When it comes to understanding child behavior, and why littles do what they do, including their impulsivity and strong emotions, I highly recommend The Whole-Brain Child: Twelve Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph. D.
Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., neuropsychiatrist, and parenting expert, Tina Payne Bryson, Ph. D. co-created this must-have book that helps you understand how a child’s growing brain is wired, and how in little humans the part of the brain that controls emotions overpowers the part of the brain that controls logic. (Cue the fussiness, the whining, the tantrums!) Reading this book has helped me strengthen my understanding of how the brain works and allows me to understand why my daughter behaves the way she does. You don’t need to have any formal studies in child development to understand this book- it’s meant for the everyday parent- and it provides relatable strategies to help with everyday situations.
If you are a parent, a grandparent, a teacher, or a child-care instructor, I also highly recommend No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph. D. This read, along with The Whole-Brain Child, are parenting fan favorites for a reason. As children get older, one of the hardest, yet most important, parts of parenting is discipline. The real, natural meaning of “discipline” is to teach or instruct. I absolutely love this read, it shares how to handle “misbehavior” with compassion, understanding, sympathy, and love. They share how to use challenging and difficult moments to connect, love, and teach, rather than to shame, scold, or scare.
No-Drama Discipline, paired with No Bad Kids: Child Discipline Without Shame by Janet Lansbury (mentioned above) are two must-have books regarding respectful and loving discipline that I’m so grateful to have read. One of my favorite quotes, “They aren’t giving you a hard time, they are having a hard time.” is written on a sticky note in multiple places in our home. It’s a reminder that kids need that understanding, compassion, guidance, respect, and love during their most challenging and vulnerable times.
Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph. D. have also authored the recent bestseller, The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired. I am currently reading this one, and I can honestly say I love it already. I already loved The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline, so I was super excited about this read. I was recently listening to an Unruffled podcast episode (by Janet Lansbury) where she spoke directly with Tina Payne Bryson, Ph. D. Janet told Tina that she feels her book, The Power of Showing Up, is one of the best and most helpful resources a parent can read nowadays. After that raving comment, I knew I had to add it to my list of must-reads, and I’m so thankful that I did! One of the most important things we can do as parents is to simply be present and “show up” in our children’s lives. As a parent who is always working to be more present and connected, I am so excited to read more of this one.
Our favorite books for those wanting to know more about how our own childhood affects the way we parent today…
I’ve spent a lot of time reading and learning about child development, along with gentle and respectful parenting, but something else that fascinates me is the act of “reparenting,” or working to understand how our own childhood experiences affect how we parent today. As parents, I think we can all agree that our children are growing and learning, but we are growing and learning right alongside them. Becoming a parent has allowed me to develop a deeper and stronger awareness and understanding of myself. Part of that understanding and growth has come from learning how my childhood shaped me and how it’s related to my parenting. My emotions, my triggers, my connections, my perspective… it’s all related to my upbringing. Parenting from the Inside Out by child neuropsychiatrist, Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. (our beloved author, Daniel, again!), and early childhood expert Mary Hartzell is a great read to help us, as parents, continue that inside work and growth. Parenting is difficult, it’s one of the most challenging parts of life we endure, and a lot of it revolves around ourselves. I can’t tell you how often I feel guilty, wondering why I got so upset, why something made me angry and yell… this book helps to understand the “why” and helps you give yourself grace. It’s so important to work on ourselves and better ourselves for our children, and this book is an excellent resource to help provide that understanding.
Another reparenting must-have is the book Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids by Hunter Clarke-Fields. I can’t tell you how many like-minded parents, especially parents in my little respectful, gentle parenting social media groups, have recommended this book. Just as I mentioned above, the process of “reparenting” yourself is extremely beneficial, and in my opinion, completely necessary, as a parent. In order to break the cycle of unwanted, guilt-inducing reactive parenting, we have to learn why we react the way we do, work on ourselves, give ourselves grace, and work to be better for our kiddos. We strive to raise our daughter with respect, kindness, compassion, understanding, and love, but even as respectful and gentle parents, we all know we still have moments where we react in ways that don’t make us feel good. This book is another excellent read to help build that knowledge and understanding of yourself to be the best parent you can be for your littles.
Our favorite books for wanting to learn more about gentle and mindful parenting from a Non-Western perspective…
I belong to a few “mom groups” on Facebook, groups all about gentle and respectful parenting. I love these particular groups because the majority of the members do not live in the United States. It’s been a helpful, empowering, and fresh perspective to read about other countries’ ways of raising little humans and what kind of practices are considered more of the “norm” around the world. The Western parenting culture in the United States is hopefully working to reframe itself with the vast amount of resources available today and shifting perspectives in a lot of families, but over the decades, the culture has been guilty of pushing non-gentle, abnormal, shaming, and firm parenting beliefs and practices. Two books that I have seen recommended time and time again are Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans by Michaeleen Doucleff, and The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids by Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Sandahl. I have yet to fully read these two books, but they are currently in my Amazon shopping cart. I can’t wait to dive in and read them once they arrive, and when they do, I will come back and share my thoughts and perspective. I trust in the recommendations of other parents and often rely on their reviews before I choose to take the time to invest in reading a new book. To see so many others recommending these books, I am more than confident recommending them to you! I’ll include a short excerpt of the summary Amazon provides for these books for reference. Happy reading! I can’t wait!
A short excerpt for Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans by Michaeleen Doucleff…
“…When Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff becomes a mother, she examines the studies behind modern parenting guidance and finds the evidence frustratingly limited and often ineffective. Curious to learn about more effective parenting approaches, she visits a Maya village in the Yucatán Peninsula. There she encounters moms and dads who parent in a totally different way than we do—and raise extraordinarily kind, generous, and helpful children without yelling, nagging, or issuing timeouts. What else, Doucleff wonders, are Western parents missing out on?
In Hunt, Gather, Parent, Doucleff sets out with her three-year-old daughter in tow to learn and practice parenting strategies from families in three of the world’s most venerable communities: Maya families in Mexico, Inuit families above the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania. She sees that these cultures don’t have the same problems with children that Western parents do. Most strikingly, parents build a relationship with young children that is vastly different from the one many Western parents develop—it’s built on cooperation instead of control, trust instead of fear, and personalized needs instead of standardized development milestones…”
A short excerpt for The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids by Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Sandahl…
“…What makes Denmark the happiest country in the world–and how do Danish parents raise happy, confident, successful kids, year after year? This upbeat and practical book presents six essential principles, which spell out P-A-R-E-N-T:
Play is essential for development and well-being.
Authenticity fosters trust and an “inner compass.”
Reframing helps kids cope with setbacks and look on the bright side.
Empathy allows us to act with kindness toward others.
No ultimatums means no power struggles, lines in the sand, or resentment.
Togetherness is a way to celebrate family time, on special occasions and every day. The Danes call this hygge–and it’s a fun, cozy way to foster closeness. Preparing meals together, playing favorite games, and sharing other family traditions are all hygge. (Cell phones, bickering, and complaining are not!)
With illuminating examples and simple yet powerful advice, The Danish Way of Parenting will help parents from all walks of life raise the happiest, most well-adjusted kids in the world…”
Whew, a lot of books, a lot of writing… thank you for reading! The books recommended throughout the post are linked again below if you are interested.
Also, a little something extra from me to you… remind yourself today that you are doing the best you can. To give yourself grace. To know you are your lovely little family’s world, and you should be so proud of yourself for taking the time to do the work that you are doing for your family… for the care, the nurturing, the respect, and the love that you are providing. You are a wonderful parent, and I really appreciate you for taking the time to read through these recommendations.
As always, sending so much love from our little family to yours!
Make that cup of coffee, snuggle up with a blanket, and happy reading!
Lots of love,
Anna
All the links from the post…
The Montessori Toddler: A Parents Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being
The Montessori Baby: A Parents Guide to Nurturing Your Baby with Love, Respect, and Understanding
Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting
No Bad Kids: Child Discipline Without Shame
The Whole-Brain Child: Twelve Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind
No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind
