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Hopefully the title of this article sparks some interest… If you’re someone who’s never read about families skipping the crib, it definitely sounds like a crazy idea because I was one of those people, too. Where do you put the baby?? But… hear me out!
As a first-time momma, I’ve learned a lot over the past few years. I have a wonderfully goofy, lovely, independent, and spirited three-year-old daughter who’s growing into the best little human. We recently welcomed our second bundle of joy this past summer, a sweet little boy. My parenting journey so far has been one of trial and error… of learning, growth, and finally feeling confident in my choices and my role as a parent. We are excited to be a family of four now. I was looking forward to restarting my journey with a newborn, and so far it’s been such a blessing. I’m proud of how I navigated the past three years with my daughter, but it’s been nice to have another chance to raise a baby from the start with all the knowledge and confidence I’ve gained over the past few years. Anyway, that being said, one of the choices I’m making with our second baby is to skip the crib. Yep, nooo crib.
Let me begin by writing about our personal experience with my daughter, and how we accidentally made her bedroom into more of a “Montessori,” or child-friendly, bedroom without realizing it.
Before my daughter was born, my husband and I put together a beautiful crib in the nursery. Everything was ready, it was the cutest little place for a perfect new baby to sleep. When she came home, we were so naive about newborns and newborn sleep. We tried getting her to sleep in her crib because that’s what we thought we were supposed to do. We would put her down and sleep on the floor in her room. When that wasn’t working and we were exhausted, we transitioned to the bedside bassinet set up in our room. That was a little better, but the only way my daughter would actually sleep, and the only way I would actually sleep, is by cosleeping together in our big bed, sometimes referred to as bed sharing. (This post isn’t a debate about cosleeping and bedsharing, and it’s not to push it in any way. Many families around the world co-sleep and bed share! As long as you do it safely, it is perfectly fine, biologically normal, common, and safe! Check out this article here for more information.) I’m a big advocate for safe cosleeping, I’m much more confident with my decisions now, and I’m constantly educating myself about developmentally appropriate and biologically normal infant, baby, and toddler sleep. But again, this post isn’t about cosleeping and bed-sharing. That’s just what we ended up doing, and it worked!
(Always follow those momma instincts, and try to block out all the outside noise and opinions on what you “should” do. Oftentimes, unwanted opinions refer to outdated and developmentally inappropriate methods. You can never love a baby too much! And you aren’t going to create “bad” habits by responding to your baby and being close to your little ones. You do what works for your family and for your sweet babies.)
Anyway, a short time into our lives as parents, my husband’s work schedule changed and I began working from home in the early morning. We needed a setup where my daughter would be able to be okay for a little bit if she woke up. Even if she had been sleeping in her crib instead of our room, I still needed a way for her to eventually be comfortable if she woke up instead of waking up, feeling alone and upset, and calling out for me. So, I set up a safe floor bed/play area arrangement in her room. I thought that if she woke up and was able to crawl over to some toys, it would potentially give me some more time and independence in the morning. In the beginning, half her room was gated off. On one side was the floor bed, and a small low shelf with safe playthings and soft board books. The floor in the play area was soft and comfortable. The other half of her room was the pretty, but barely-used crib and her big ol’ giant dresser/changing area. The big pieces of furniture were way off on the other side and out of reach. (So much for the cute, little nursery setup! Oh well…) Anyway, I would sleep with my daughter at night in her room, quietly sneak out in the early morning, close the door, and then I would be able to have my space to work. I worked on scaffolding her to feel more and more comfortable by herself in her room. In the beginning, she would cry when she woke up. I always responded to her cries and went to give her some love, but then after a while, she started growing curious about her room. She began to crawl over to her toys, look at her books, and take some time to play independently. It was so fun and really cute to see this developing process in her monitor. I loved watching her wake up and instead of immediatly calling out for me, she would shuffle on over to her playthings. I always wondered what she thought as she flipped through her little books and babbled to herself while she played. Over a few months time, she played longer, from a few minutes at the start to over an hour most days. I was able to work more, and I knew that her independent play was so awesome and beneficial to her development! It was working great! Of course, she was still so little and still needed momma, and there were some days she just didn’t want to play. If she didn’t feel good or just wasn’t into it, I was still home and was able to give her some love.
Overall, I’m really proud of our decision to set up the little child-friendly floor bed/play space in her room. At the time, we were slightly forced to be creative and make it work because of our different work schedules, but I’m so glad and thankful we did. It’s been a blessing for both us as parents and also for our daughter!
At that point in my parenting journey, I was really diving deep into learning and educating myself about so much more, including natural and gentle parenting, RIE parenting, etc… just a variety of perspectives and approaches. I was adding to my book collection, listening to podcast after podcast, and really growing my knowledge and my confidence as a momma. I was making it a priority to have our house more child-friendly overall, and I came across some articles about child-friendly nurseries and using floor beds from the beginning. It was basically our current setup, but just doing it from the start and being more intentional about it. From our experience, we knew it worked and we knew how great and beneficial it was to help develop that independent play and curiosity. I knew right then that for our second baby, I wanted to skip the crib.
Within a few months after we set up my daughter’s little floor bed arrangement, we took down her crib entirely and removed the big ol’ chunky dresser. She didn’t need all of that, and they were just taking up space in her room. We child-proofed her room so that it was completely child-friendly, so no big, unsafe furniture or things were out. Since then, an in her bedroom now as a three-year-old, she has a bed with a very low bed frame since she’s able to get on and off more independently now. She still has her low shelf and safe playthings (a little more now that she was older, we’ve adjusted her things as she grew, of course), her books and reading corner, and a little dressing rack that hangs a few outfits. In her closet is a small, child-friendly low plastic set of drawers for a “dresser.” Her bedroom is safe, child-friendly, and fun for her to play in after she wakes up in the morning. It’s basically like a simple playroom, just with a bed and a little dressing area! There are no big, unsafe, hunky pieces of furniture that take up space.
A setup like this is a great idea for homes that don’t have room for a separate “playroom,” you know? Sometimes now at three, my daughter will play for so long in her room that I almost have to negotiate with her to come out and eat breakfast. She’ll even fall asleep while playing or looking at her books. She has a monitor in her room, of course, so I can make sure everything goes well and she’s okay playing in there. (:
I couldn’t be more thankful for our journey of growth and learning what works for our family, and how beneficial it’s been for all of us. With our new bundle of joy, we do have a bedside bassinet for our bedroom for those first few months. We mostly safely cosleep just the same as we did with our daughter, but I think it’s still good to have something to put the baby in, you know? That way the baby can still be up higher and safe, and you can have your hands free to do other things. (For example, I’ll bring the bassinet into the bathroom when I need to shower, and my daughter plays with her shower box on the floor.) We have a two-story home, so we also have a portable pack-and-play in our main living space for a safe closed-off space to put our son in, and also to use as a changing area. So, I definitely still recommend a bassinet, pack-and-play, or something like that for the newborn months. Much more cost-effective, too, than an expensive, chunky, heavy crib!
As far as the baby’s bedroom, we ditched the idea of an impractical nursery and put together a safe and child-friendly bedroom like we did with our daughter. We have a floor bed set up for when my son begins to be more mobile and having him in our bed or bedroom isn’t as safe. On the other side, he has his safe, low Montessori shelf with a few playthings and some soft board books. He also has a little tummy time mat with a cute, little baby play gym.
(We love our Lovevery toys and the Lovevery play gym, check out the ad at the bottom of the screen to view all the lovely little Lovevery playthings! Sustainable, made of softwood and organic cotton, and developmentally friendly!)
We also have a changing area with the changing pad and diaper caddy on the floor, so that my daughter can help with the baby. She absolutely loves helping me around the house, taking care of her baby dolls, and she likes to be included when taking care of her brother. Any way I can include her in the baby’s care makes her happy! We also have the same closet setup as my daughter, with a low, plastic set of drawers as a dresser in the closet instead of a big, heavy dresser. Anything potentially unsafe is kept in the child-proofed closet.
All in all… a bedroom that is very minimal, very safe, and very child-friendly! Both for the baby and for my three-year-old. No big pieces of unnecessary, dangerous, and expensive furniture. Once we decide to transition the baby from our room to his room and floor bed, we’ll hopefully scaffold him just the same to feel comfortable enough to play independently in his room for longer and longer, like when this momma has to do something, like work or shower! For now, we love playing in there as a big, happy family during the day. My son loves grabbing at his baby play gym and exploring his little toys on his tummy time mat. My daughter likes playing with him, reading books together, and just being in his room. It’s fun! We take turns playing in her room and his room together. (:
Pretty cool for the little ones, right?? They love independence and helping them develop the skills to comfortably play independently is so, so beneficial! It’s been awesome for our family, and so far it’s been a really great and positive journey with our second bundle of joy. It’s so nice having a more practical and safe setup in their bedrooms compared to the typical nurseries and bedrooms that have all that unnecessary furniture. Simple, intentional, safe, and fun!
Ah, parenting… it’s a journey!
Lots of love, and thanks for reading!
Anna
Read more about the Montessori philosophy…
View Montessori books on Amazon, click here
Related articles…
Setting Up a Child-Friendly (or “Montessori”) Home Doesn’t Have to be Expensive
Our Favorite Books for Parents of Little Ones
